الوضع الليلي
8:45:54 
2023-04-06 
1177
People sometimes make the same mistake that they complain about, and they practice the same actions that they complain about. They demand others to do good, and their words contradict their actions. They accuse others of selfishness and lack of cooperation, and you see them not taking any step to cooperate with others. And they accuse others of what is inappropriate, at the same time they complain about others accusing them.
In order to solve this problem, we either deal with the principle of reciprocating abuse with charity and everything ends, or we stop complaining so that others do not complain about us.
A fifteen-year-old girl wrote to a woman known for giving advice to young people: “My biggest problem is my mother, because she complains from morning until evening, and she pours out orders to me: Turn off the TV, write down your homework, wash your face and teeth, stand up Straight, clean up your room...)).
And the girl asked: How can I make her leave me alone?
And because the grumbling girl did not accept the right advice at the right time, she would be forced to accept the advice of the woman who used to give advice to people like her. Listen to your mothers' requests and this is how you make her leave you alone.
When we complain about the lack of cooperation of others, we must be ready to cooperate, otherwise the words we say have no value.
When we ask others to do good, we must be the first to take the initiative to do good. People's eyes precede their ears. They see what we do, and after that they do not hear what we say.
And when we complain about complaining, we are committing the same mistake that others committed against us, because we “complain” because of their “complaint”, and we leave “cooperation” because they did not cooperate, and we “accuse” because they “accuse”.
Many of the advice given by the advisors have a place of truth and correctness, and we must accept them as they are. Their criticism may be valid. If they are right, then we must change our method. Otherwise, what is the value of ignoring and insisting on error?
Perfection belongs to Allah alone, so we should not expect people to be perfect because that is not within their power. And if they could, they wouldn't have been late to reach it.
Then we have to hold ourselves accountable before we hold people accountable, and be “kind” to them before we demand that they be “kind” to us, because success is not in getting a good friend, but success in being a good friend to others.
Nor is success in getting a good wife, but rather in being a good husband to your wife, thus getting rid of the power of self-love that causes complaining and grumbling from others. Running after private interest - to satisfy our selfishness - does not lead us to a good result, and forcing people to satisfy our desires does not lead us to our desire.
One of the thinkers says: ((Nothing is more dangerous than allowing the private interest to control our actions and guide our behavior... It is really wrong for a person to rely on self-love as the logic of his actions and projects, so he demands that everyone benefit him without seeking to benefit them)).
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